I HAVE NO INTERNET WHERE I LIVE

Where I live, I have no internet.

This is why I haven't been blogging.

I have moved into my own place in Jersey City, NJ.

Now I can be as loud as I want at the top of my lungs.

And so I am now writing live comedy again. (I WAS DYING CREATIVELY IN WOODHAVEN!)

But I have to check my internet at a cafe where they play horrible world music and twenty-year old women with taupe skin and Obama buttons serve me.

(I would fuck this one behind the counter now, though :))

It is harder to concentrate here.

When I first moved into my new place, I had perfect internet for four days. It was really fast! I used "linksys".

Then, all of a sudden, it wanted a password.

I have been all over my apartment and there is one spot, if I move my bed and almost close my computer and hold it flat against the wall two feet above the floor, where I can get internet for thirty seconds before it freezes up.

I have to type with one hand and hope that I do not jostle the computer in the process because I will lose my thirty-second connection and will have to keep clicking the airport thing at the top of the screen until "Fon-Fon Free-for-All" appears again.

I think people are stingy with their internet on the east coast.

The last time that I had a thirty second internet connection with my computer pressed against the wall and almost closed between the space where my bed and the wall is--I googled "How to hack into wi-fi"

I tried some of the tips, like typing "admin" for any WEP password.

But to no avail.

So, maybe it is for the best. As I say, I am writing live stuff again.

I miss blogging, to be sure. But I have big shows coming up in San Francisco in a few weeks

I thought that I would never write comedy again, but I am working on the following:

A bit about a lizard.
A bit about the Gaza Strip.
A bit about Facebook.

and many more.

Speaking of which, it bothers me when women on Facebook post pictures of themselves with their babies. Not that I have anything against babies. It's just that it makes Facebook less of a networking site and more of a wallet.