Tuesday, January 29, 2008

(Couldn't resist) LOVE LETTERS, PART 3: Enter Sab The Redeemer!



This is also available as a comment on "LOVE LETTERS, PART 1" as it appears on the myspace blog. I just like this better as a trilogy. But after this, no more. I swear.

CHAPTER 3: Intimidated by the good points I've been making in the first two love letters, the enraged Muslim beauty Fatima gives up and sics "Sab" on me--her cute little blue-eyed blonde girlfriend.


"hey will,

I think the issue is that you have to distinguish between extremists and muslims. While you may understand the difference, most people do not and continue to perpetuate this false perception. Not all terrorists are muslims bc Islam does NOT recognize muslim extremists as Muslims. Unfortunately these extremists have ruined the world's perception of Islam which is actually (believe it or not) a religion of peace. I understand that you are a comedian but just keep in mind that this is a sensitive issue right now and we should all try to work together and promote peace rather than hate.

Cheers

Sab"

Let's break this down.

1. "You have to distinguish between extremists and Muslims."

Sab, I do distinguish between extremists and Muslims. It's my portrayal of extremists that has Fatima bothered.

2. "Most people do not and continue to perpetuate this false perception."

Meanwhile, pretty young college girls like yourself and Fatima continue to perpetuate the false (and dangerous) perception that all Muslims are peaceful.

3. "Not all terrorists are Muslims because Islam does not recognize extremists as Muslims."

Well then, tell the extremists that. Not me. I don't give a fuck. I'm not a Muslim. I don't give a fuck how your religion is perceived. Not my problem, sister.

4. "Islam is a religion of peace."

George Bush said that as well, but you're both wrong. Hinduism, maybe. Buddhism, possibly. The word "Islam" means "to submit". And as you can tell by this ongoing argument, that's always been difficult for me. When are you girls going to cry "uncle" already? I win! Now let's go fuck.

5.
"This is a sensitive issue right now."

Obviously it is. Otherwise, you girls would be able to talk openly about it instead of trying to stifle me.

6.
"We should all try to work together and promote peace rather than hate."

That's not my job.

My job is to have a good time.

Give me your phone number. Let's really celebrate diversity.