Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Before Sir Elton Gets The Chance



(To the tune of "Candle In The Wind")

Goodbye, Heath Ledger
though I never knew you at all.
You had the grace to die from pills
and remind me that I'm small.

You rode up Brokeback Mountain
and played a cowboy who was gay.
And when you died in Soho,
that was equally as brave.

And it seems to me you lived your life
like another Hollywood whore.
You're dead and in the headlines
now more than ever before.
And I would have liked to have known you,
but I am only working class.
The Ledger burned out long before
I could ever kiss his ass.

Loneliness was tough.
But, respectfully, join the fucking club.
I mean, what's the going rate
for a professional in-house back rub?

Even when you died,
oh, the press still hounded you.
All the papers had to say
was, "Gee, Heath Ledger sure was cute."

And it seems to me you lived your life
like every other star.
When they want a little attention
they O.D. or wreck a car.
And I would have liked to have known you,
but I live way out in Queens.
And I don't think you'd have liked it here
cause it isn't very clean.

Goodbye, Heath Ledger.
From the guy who's never seen your films at all.
I'm sure things didn't come easy
in that perpetual debutante ball.

"Goodbye, Heath Ledger!"
screams the TV all it can.
It perceives you as something much more special
than the common working man.

And it seems to me you lived your life
like the graceful Princess Di.
Wave and smile and meet your end
and my! how the whole world cries.
And I would have liked to have known you,
but I'm not a member of The Guild.
Membership was denied me long before
you ever took those pills.